Style Model Annotation

Paper Towns by John Green
- Simple sentences: “I like consistency.” “You can’t be me.”
There’s going to be a wide variety of sentence structures within any fictional text, but within Paper Towns, simple sentences are used to accurately describe feelings that encompass the mind but are hard to put into words. They’re used to give simplicity to a character’s speech when, previously, all they’d been doing is talking in complex sentences.

- Extended metaphors: “each of us start out as a water tight vessel.” “all the strings inside him broke”
Shows deeps to character thought. The metaphors are talking about life and death and how different people think of it. These metaphors are a key theme to the novel because they help the main character, Quentin, to come to an epiphany.

- Repetition of the word ‘”maybe”
 Connotes uncertainness and naivety because death is something we can’t understand unless we’re dying ourselves. Quentin is unsure of his ideas as well as himself, which is portrayed in his speech.

-Dialogue
The text is built around dialogue between the main male and female characters, shaping their relationship.

Severed Heads, Broken Hearts by Robyn Schneider
- Retrospective view point: “my own tragedy held out”
Ezra, the main character, is reflecting on a traumatic event that he was involved in. He talks about how a tragedy can happen to anyone, but originally never expected one would happen to him, but this experience made him wary of when something equally bad would happen to the “embarrassingly popular” boy.

- Direct address: “Do you know those signs…?”
This is an example of inclusive language. It helps to make the writing relatable for the reader that can imagine the world of the story.

- Similes: “…like some sort of grotesque helicopter”
Similes use words that invoke the imagination of the reader and enrich a story by adding interest. Things are easier to describe when being related to something else, something more tangible and imaginable.

-Anecdote: “We were fanatic about Ping Pong in the summer.”
By telling stories about previous events that may otherwise have not been included in the fictional piece, the characters are given a sense of realism, making them easier to relate to. Anecdotes also add humour.

All style models use a male perspective.

Commentary Draft - The Importance of Chocolate Milk

NB. Third style model 'A Cheertastic Christmas Miracle' is not included within this draft.

Commentary One – The Importance of Chocolate Milk

The Importance of Chocolate Milk is a short story written with the purpose to entertain. The genre of the story is romance, with hints of intellectual comedy. My target audience is young adults, age ranging from 15-18 and I imagine the story being published in a short story anthology. I used two style models; Paper Towns by John Green and Severed Heads, Broken Hearts by Robyn Schneider. I chose these style models because they have the same target audience and are within the same genre.

Severed Heads, Broken Hearts is written in retrospect. The main character is reflecting on how something tragic happened to his friend and how his “own tragedy held out”. My character is also writing in retrospect about how an experience, meeting a girl, changed his life.  Both style models are also written from a male point of view – my story is told through Mark, a boy who has little experience interacting with girls, shown through his awkward body language – he bumps into Rosianna in the first place.

The main content of my story is dialogue between Rosianna and Mark, the main characters. Rosianna uses interrogatives such as “Shouldn’t you be helping me now?” and “Are you going to help me find my papers or not?” to spark Mark into action and assert her authority. She is a girl with a purpose, shown through her “hope and determination” to change the way people view the German language. Mark uses a lot of simple sentences, such as “I’ll gladly help you” and “you’re still not making sense” because he isn’t eloquent in expressing his opinion. I used different sentence structures for character expression.

Extended metaphors run throughout Paper Towns, for example “all the strings inside him broke” or “each one of us starts out as a water tight vessel.” The metaphors are talking about life and how different people think regarding the subject. My story starts with a metaphor, running out of chocolate milk is the “Big Bang that shaped my universe”, to show the significance of the event. In my first draft, I had ‘explosion’ instead of ‘Big Bang’. I decided to change it because there isn’t an explosion bigger than the Big Bang. It highlights that this sparks a chain reaction that changes his world, not just something that happens with no impact. It also shows Mark’s intelligence; he is able to express himself eloquently but only in his head.

I used similes to show differences between my characters. Rosianna is “like a gazelle”; graceful and swift with fluid motion and innocent beauty. Mark is “like a giraffe”; slightly awkward in the way he looks and stumbles on small things like speech. To achieve my purpose, I had to make the audience care about both characters, so much so that they’d want them to have a happy ending. By giving them characteristics that could invoke sympathy, such as the inability to express themself easily, makes the reader feel emotive towards the characters.  

 

 

 

GAP for Second Piece - Beauty is a Beast

Second Piece of Coursework

Topic: How opinions on beauty need to be changed, focusing on the self-esteem of women.

Genre: Magazine article, most likely published in ‘Marie Claire’ or ‘Cosmopolitan’

Purpose: To persuade

Audience: Women, primarily ages 20-30.

Beauty is a Beast - Draft Two

Beauty is a Beast

Why do we think we’re not beautiful?     

 

 

There’s been a multitude of things in the media over the last few months about the beauty and fashion industry. France made the not-so-drastic choice to ban beauty pageants, Dove launched its campaign of ‘Real Beauty’ and Barbie is no longer the most popular girl in Malibu. Times are changing. So, it’s about time we removed the foundation that’s covering up the cracks in our views on what’s beautiful.   

            We all know of the perfect ideal that we can wear whatever we want, whenever we want, so why does no one act upon it? You don’t see Miley Cyrus crying in the bathroom that everyone hated her outfit; she’s out there in the spotlight writhing around in a plastic bikini no matter how socially inappropriate it is. I’m not saying that we should all jump on the bandwagon, wearing wetsuits in winter, but maybe it’s not such a bad idea to adopt some of Miss Miley’s ‘don’t care’ attitude.

 

The past

              Throughout history, people held different opinions on what ‘beauty’ was; it’s not only the fashion that changed, but the definition. Females of the 21^st century are struggling with the pressure to be thin, to be picture-perfect…but if you look at actual painted pictures from the 15^th century, society preferred their women chubby by today’s standard. 18^th century women liked to squeeze themselves into corsets that were bruising but beautiful, yet nowadays women are shamed for wearing the current trend of corsets and cropped tops. Correct me if I’m wrong but I’m sure Marie Antoinette didn’t get hassle for her high fashion.

 

The present

A study was done by Boston University showing the levels of self-esteem in teenage girls throughout their college life and how it decreased as the years progressed. Was that because of super model influences, or harshly judged outfits? It’s both.
The beauty and fashion industry is meant to be a hopeful resource to girls to prove to themselves and others that they can be beautiful no matter what their shape, size or social status. As time has gone on the beauty and fashion world has become one filled with criticism and judgement, no longer a celebration that women can look however they want but a destructive environment for women that don’t fit the mould.

 

The future

So what about an even younger audience; how are we influencing the opinions of young and impressionable girls? I bet we can all name someone that owned at least one Barbie…or thirty and we wonder why girls have such high standards. Barbie has perfectly styled blonde hair, an unrealistically perfect figure and the biggest wardrobe known to mankind. She is the epitome of perfection. Or should that be she was?
In a recent report published by Mattel, the creators of Barbie, the sales of the multi-billion dollar doll dropped by 6%. Girls just aren’t as interested in Malibu’s most famous anymore.  This is probably due to the introduction of competition, ironically also owed by Mattel. ‘Monster High’ are dolls made to resemble famous monsters such as Frankenstein and Count Dracula, carrying the catchy slogan of ‘Be Yourself, Be Unique, Be a Monster’. It’s definitely encouraging to see consumers opting for a brand that encourages individuality rather than idealism.

             It’s not just young girls that are gaining better ideas about what beauty is, but also a slightly more mature generation. Dove recently launched a campaign talking about finding ‘Real Beauty.’ A survey was completed, worldwide, that showed only 4% out of over 1000 women consider themselves beautiful. The research also revealed that 72% of women feel the pressure to be perfect. That is hugely depressing. Is this really the society we would like to live in? The beauty world should be doing something to fix that depressing statistic.

 

Some may argue that beauty is encouraging women to improve their self-esteem and the way they view themselves, but those people haven’t yet fallen down the rabbit hole to a world of madness, exposing themselves to the hypocrisy of the beauty industry. How can people feel good in their own skin when they constantly compare themselves to the likes of Kate Moss and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, who prance around catwalk like they’re queens of the world?

                In general we need to come up with a way of combatting the self-esteem issues that shroud women like a black storm cloud. This could mean using models with more ‘average’ proportions in magazines and fashion shows, or changing the dolls that are given to girls so a better message about self-image is presented. The point is that every woman has the power to pick up a magazine and say “I’ll look good in that outfit” and not bother to pay attention to the person actually wearing the clothes. Every woman has the power to believe they are beautiful.

 

Together we can change the way people think about themselves and what it really means to be beautiful.

 

 

Commentary One Notes - Analysis of Fiction Text

Commentary Notes

1.       Written in first person male perspective like the narrator in ‘Paper Towns’ by John Green and ‘Severed Heads, Broken Heads’ by Robyn Schneider. I wanted my main character to be clueless on the subject of girls, so being a girl and writing from the male perspective, it was easy to simulate cluelessness.

2.       “My own tragedy held out” “That’s how it happened” Told in retrospect, as a tale that changed the way the main character saw life. In ‘Severed Heads, Broken Hearts’ the main character Ezra experiences a beheading and it changes how he acts around his friends.

3.       The age of my characters reflects the audience I’d like to read the short story. Having the characters that are young adults makes them easier to relate to because the readers may be going through similar experiences.

4.       I chose to start with a metaphor: “Running out of chocolate milk was the Big Bang that shaped my universe” was important because metaphors are a key theme that runs throughout ‘Paper Towns’. They symbolise how the main character views life e.g. “Each of us starts out as a water tight vessel” and my character, Mark, sees Rosianna as a focus of his existence.

5.       In ‘Severed Heads, Broken Hearts’, the scene is set, telling the reader how the main character lives and what he’s like: “I had just turned seventeen, was embarrassingly popular, earned good grades”.  In my short story, I start by explaining why Mark ran out of chocolate milk and explained parts of his personality: “My mind worked best with numbers” This allows the reader to be better connected with the character if traits and habits are displayed early in the text.

6.       The genre of my text is a romance. I achieve this through character dialogue. There is preliminary awkwardness between Rosianna and Mark that subsides when they continue talking and Mark learns more about her. He tells the reader “That was it. I loved her” once he realises how determined Rosianna is. It is, in essence, a love story of how a first love can completely encompass your life.

7.       The purpose of my text is to entertain. My characters are the main source of entertainment. I start with a short sentence “I ran out of chocolate milk.” This is a very trivial event that doesn’t seem significant. However, the narrator goes on to claim that running out of chocolate milk was “the Big Bang” that shaped his universe. His knowledge of the Big Bang shows intelligence, but also by making the two events sound similar in effect, emphasis is put on just how important running out of chocolate milk is.

8.       I used similes to show differences between my characters. Rosianna is ‘like a gazelle’, graceful and swift with fluid motion and innocent beauty. Mark is ‘like a giraffe’; slightly awkward in the way he looks and stumbles on small things like speech. To achieve my purpose, I had to make the audience care about both characters, so much so that they’d want to know what happens to them and want them to have a happy ending. By giving them characteristics that could invoke sympathy, such as the inability to express one’s self easily, makes the reader feel emotive towards the characters.  

9.       In both ‘Paper Towns’ and ‘Severed Heads, Broken Hearts’, the authors use a distinct personality for their main female character. The term to describe this personality is ‘Manic Pixie Dream Girl’ and can be defined as a mysterious and beautiful girl that helps the main male character to come to an epiphany. Rosianna is created to help Mark realise there is more to life than chocolate milk and that you are capable of anything, if you set your mind to it.

10.   Throughout ‘Paper Towns’, short and minor sentences are used for emphasis and impact, such as “The light can get out.” I chose to start my short story with a short sentence to build intrigue. I also added minor sentences to show how passionate my characters are about certain things. Rosianna says “Not as much as me” in response to the question “Doesn’t everyone want to save the world?” Her inability to form ‘proper’ sentences shows how much changing the world means to her, so that she can’t describe it.

 

Analysis of Articles - Assessed Assignment

Analysis of Articles

Halloween Costumes – What not to wear written by Rhiannon Cosslett is a comment article on the traditions of Halloween and how society has gone wrong where costumes are concerned. It had a multitude of purposes, most importantly to advise and persuade as well as entertain. 

By the strapline of the article, an informal register is presented. For example, she uses the term ‘bye bye’ to simulate speech, and a neologism ‘Slutoween’. However the article varies between formal and informal depending on the piece of advice Cosslett is giving. When she suggests ‘dress your baby up’ the content isn’t to be taken seriously then later in the article she talks of the ‘Trayvon Martin’ murder and the ‘disrespect’ shown to other people’s cultures, which are serious matters. 

This lack of definition in register can make it hard to show the audience of the article.

Cosslett uses imperatives as subtitles, such as ‘Make sure you’re easily identifiable’, which is a suitable sentence mood for her ‘new rules’ of Halloween dressing. Imperatives can be forceful, reiterating her opinion on how people should dress. 

‘Don’t disrespect other people’s cultures’ is used as a persuasive technique. Within this section of the article she directly addresses the reader with the pronoun ‘you’. This singles out the reader, creating a more personal relationship between them and the writer. In some cases this can be inappropriate, yet in the context of culture, Cosslett sees no alternative. The use of the pronoun ‘we’ would be too vague and generalised. By using ‘you’ it shifts the blame from everyone to only the reader, making them feel solely guilty. 

Rhetorical questions, like ‘Can’t you just put down that native American headdress?’, are used for the same purpose.

In the last section of the article, Cosslett uses an anecdote about someone inappropriately dressing in ‘a maid’s costume’ bought from Ann Summers to add humour to her writing. The socially awkward situation of ‘repeated requests for vodka’ by drunken men sounds both embarrassing and exaggerated. This emotion is used to discourage the reader from making the same mistake, and gives the impression that by following the rules Cosslett has written situations like this could be avoided. 

A man’s perspective on why engagement rings are a joke written by Tauriq Moosa has similar purposes compared to Cosslett’s article. Primarily it is to persuade, secondarily to entertain. Though the topic is equally as serious as Halloween costumes, it is written in a much more formal manner, accompanied by the use of facts and figures to corroborate his opinion. 

The target audience of the comment article are men, specifically men in a ‘monogamous’ relationship. However, the title states ‘a man’s perspective’ which could be used to drawn the attention of females, so they may see the a man’s opinion of the subject of engagement rings. 

First of all, the picture that pairs with the article is one of Kim Kardashian showing off her engagement ring ‘on Instagram’. The article mentions Kim Kardashian nowhere, so is used to highlight the ridiculously of women needing to show off wedding rings to anyone who will listen. This is a stereotype of women used throughout the article, like in his concluding sentence when he says 'if you need a ring to prove your love, it's not your lack of a ring that's the problem.' This declarative gives his article a strong conclusion, invoking thought from the reader as a result. 

Within the second paragraph, Moosa uses a lot of base form adjectives to describe wedding rings, for example 'expensive', 'useless' and 'insulting'. All these words have negative connotations, which reinforce his idea that engagement rings are 'a joke'. These technique, is called 'rule of three' or 'triplets', when three words are put together for emphasis.

Moosa uses a strong metaphor, saying that 'We've turned into zombies' when it comes to love. The use of the word zombies suggests unconscious thought, that we just do things without thinking about them. It could also be used to symbolise disgust at the way people are spending so much money on rings and the 'heart-shaped horror' of Valentine's day. He also completes his paragraph negative by saying how it's hard to believe 'you haven't murdered each other', which correlates with the zombie imagery. It is also hyperbole about how married couples act around each other. This could be seen as an attempt at humour, but using 'murder' suggests a sincerity to his point.   

He tactically uses the the pronoun 'we' to suggest that everyone is to blame for the hyperinflation of the importance of engagement rinks. Similar to Cosslett's use, it shifts the blame from one reader to every reader. 

As the article progresses, Moosa uses facts and figures to illustrate his point on the expense of wedding rings, stating that 'nearly 12% of US couples spend more than $8000 for an engagement ring' The use of facts makes your opinion sound like fact and strengthens your argument as another source is used.

Both articles accomplish their purposes with the use of persuasive language features and audience inclusive techniques, such as rhetorical questions and direct address.  

Bavaria - The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Mozart

"Just so you're all aware," Robert, the tour guide, shouted as our group shuffled around Salzberg (which was unsurprisingly lacking in nuns and singing children) "I am well versed in all 'Sound of Music' hits and if requested, can lead the group in a singsong"
Groans rippled through the crowd as Robert snapped his Leiderhosen and told anyone who'd listen that he'd directed a version of the play in Amateur Dramatics.

Unfortunately, Robert's personal achievements were the only things impressive about the city. Shops were packed with tourists buying anything with Julie Andrew's face on for the bargain price of 40 euros. Sticking a celebrity's face on something is like encrusting it with diamonds - it becomes ten times more expensive. Streets were filled with small children, that could speak more German than our tour guide, who were feeded Salzbiscuits to seagulls.

If it wasn't the sound of 'Doe, Rae, Me' being hummed by everyone, some more enthusiastic than others, we might have been able to enjoy the chiming of the Glockenspiel, that seemed to ring every other second.

Sitting on church steps, waiting for the coach to come and rescue us all wasn't exactly a highlight of the holiday. I can't say that playing Miniature Golf, the same course you can find in Bristol, was traditionally Bavarian, but that's what I distinctly remember about the trip.

Bavaria held other exciting new experiences, like watching a man dive off the edge of a mountain that was 6,473ft from the ground. Skydive, that is, for those wondering if he ended up flatter than an Austrian pancake. It was quite a performance watching the man set up his parachute and tieing himself into a backpack the size of a German grizzly bear.
The Rauschberg mountain is situated in the small town of Ruhpolding. It's a popular spot for skydiving and, for those less adventurous out there, hiking routes. With neon yellow signs directing you to the bottom there's a guarantee you won't get lost…probably.

Once you've made the exhausting trip up the mountain, or the more popular option of the ski-lift, there's a delightful wooden cabin at the top, serving apple streusel and blackberry cheesecake made with goat's milk. Sure it's four euros a slice - sans Julie Andrews' face - but well worth a taste all the same.

If you want to get even more involved in the Bavarian culture, attend what's known as a 'Hut Evening' at a local pub or restaurant. My family made the decision, although it was probably a mistake in retrospect, of attending a Hut Evening that commenced at 6pm and ending at 10:30pm. According to experts four and a half hours is the longest amount of time anyone can listen to old men with walrus moustaches yodelling at the top of their lungs. That is one evening I'm not likely to forget any time soon - probably because it's permanently scarred my ear drums…

Overall, Bavaria is beautiful, brimming with tradition and opportunities to act like locals, waving white and blue checkered flags and donning lion hats with pride. The perfect holiday for those not afraid of looking a little stupid.

Style Models

Fiction Style Models:
(all are fiction books that I own physical copies of)
- Paper Towns by John Green (full length)
-A Cheertastic Christmas Miracle by John Green (short story)
- Severed Heads, Broken Hearts by Robyn Schneider (full length)

Persuasive Style Models:
-  The Life Stages of Women
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/10146752/Have-the-traditional-life-stages-for-women-disappeared-forever.html
-Airbrushing Kate Winslet
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/emma-brockes-blog/2013/oct/17/kate-winslet-vogue-cover-grotesque

To Inform and Advise:
-Neo magazine: How to dress Lolita
- Travel Writing on Bavaria:
http://www.theguardian.com/travel/2013/oct/18/bavaria-munich-off-piste-skiing-resorts
- Travel Writing
http://www.theguardian.com/travel/2012/jul/15/country-music-nashville-tennessee-us-america

Beauty is a Beast Draft One

Beauty is a Beast

Why self-esteem is at an all-time low

 

There’s been a multitude of things in the media over the last few months about the beauty and fashion industry as well as the self-esteem levels of young girls. France made the not-so-drastic choice to ban beauty pageants, Dove launched its campaign of ‘Real Beauty’ and Barbie is no longer the most popular girl in Malibu. Times are changing. So, it’s about time that the problem of low self-esteem was addressed.  

            We all know of the perfect ideal that we can wear whatever we want, whenever we want, so why does no one act upon it? You don’t see Miley Cyrus crying in the bathroom that everyone hated her outfit; she’s out there in the spotlight writhing around in a plastic bikini no matter how socially inappropriate it is. I’m not saying that we should all jump on the bandwagon, wearing wetsuits in winter, but maybe it’s not such a bad idea to adopt some of Miss Miley’s ‘don’t care’ attitude?              Women through the ages had different opinions of beauty. Females of the 21^st century are weightlifting the pressure to be thin, to be picture-perfect…but if you look at the pictures of the 15^th century, society preferred their women chubby by today’s standard. 18^th century women liked to squeeze themselves into corsets that were uncomfortable but beautiful, yet nowadays women are shamed for wearing the current trend of corsets and cropped tops. Correct me if I’m wrong but I’m sure Marie Antoinette didn’t get hassle for her high fashion.

Girls are judged everywhere for wanting to look young, sweet and pretty by strangers. They shouldn’t have to put up with that, because youth is hell enough as it is. When we were all young, sweet and pretty without realising it and a girl told us our Lelli Kelli sandals were so 2003 our mother's would tell us she was "just jealous". That's what they've been telling you for years; that you're perfect 'just the way you are'. Hate to break it to you, Bruno Mars, but no one believed you. Why was that exactly?

A study was done by Boston University showing the levels of self-esteem in teenage girls throughout their college life and how it decreased as the years progressed. What that research told us was that generally all girls are insecure. We’re just hardwired that way. The beauty and fashion industry is meant to be a hopeful resource to girls to prove to themselves and others that they can be beautiful no matter what their shape, size or social status. As time’s gone on the beauty and fashion world has become one of criticism and judgement, no longer a celebration that women can look however they want.

So what about an even younger audience; how are we influencing the opinions of young and impressionable girls? I bet you can all name someone that owned at least one Barbie…or thirty and we wonder why girls have such high standards. Barbie has perfectly styled blonde hair, an unrealistically perfect figure and the biggest wardrobe known to mankind. She is the epitome of perfection. Or should that be she was?
In a recent report published by Mattel, the creators of Barbie, the sales of the multi-billion dollar doll dropped by 6%. Girls just aren’t as interested in Malibu’s most famous anymore.  This is probably due to the introduction of competition, ironically also owed by Mattel. ‘Monster High’ are dolls made to be daughters of famous monsters with the catchy slogan of ‘Be Yourself, Be Unique, Be a Monster’. It’s definitely encouraging to see consumers opting for a brand that encourages individuality rather than idealism.

             It’s not just young girls that are gaining better ideas about what beauty is, but also a slightly more mature generation. Dove recently launched a campaign talking about finding ‘Real Beauty. A survey was completed, worldwide, that showed only 4% out of over 1000 women consider themselves beautiful. The research also revealed that 72% of women feel the pressure to be perfect. That’s just upsetting. The beauty world should be doing something to fix that depressing statistic.

Some may argue that beauty is encouraging women to improve their self-esteem and the way they view themselves, but those people haven’t yet fallen down the rabbit hole and been exposed to the hypocrisy of the beauty industry. How can people feel good in their own skin when they constantly compare themselves to the likes of Kate Moss and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, who prance around catwalk like they’re queens of the world?

                In general we need to come up with a way of combatting the self-esteem issues that shroud women like a black storm cloud. This could mean using models with more ‘average’ proportions in magazines and fashion shows, or changing the dolls that are given to girls so a better message about self-image is presented. The point is that every woman has the power to pick up a magazine and say “I’ll look good in that outfit” and not bother to pay attention to the person actually wearing the clothes. Every woman has the power to believe they are beautiful.
Together we can change the way people think about themselves and what it really means to be beautiful.

Persuasive Language - An Analysis

 

English Language Assessment – Analysis of Persuasive Writing

 

The art of persuasive language is used by many people in different situations to get the audience to agree with their own views. It can be both direct and subtle. In this assessment I will be looking at a variety of texts and how the authors of said texts use persuasive techniques effectively.

 

The first article is a response to an open letter, meaning that anyone can read it and not just the person to which it is addressed, written by Sinead O’Connor to Miley Cyrus concerning her ‘Wrecking Ball’ music video. The response is written by Melissa Bradshaw, persuading an audience that it is not Miley Cyrus, and to extent women in general, that is a ‘victim’ but is in control of the things she does, whether that include getting naked in a video that received over 18 million views.

Bradshaw uses synthetic personalisation to involve the audience, for example saying ‘perhaps you can already see a problem here’. The use of the pronoun ‘you’ is a direct address. It is calling upon the reader to think of their own opinions on the subject matter. She also does this by saying ‘we live in a world…’ to connect herself with the reader’s situation.
Bradshaw effectively uses rhetorical questions, such as ‘but where does that leave women who don't have boyfriends or husbands, or who want to be promiscuous?’, to provoke thought about what is lacking from O’Connor’s original article. A good persuasive text will leave readers thinking about what is the right way to think about are issue, and by questioning their current views.
The simple sentence ‘the perpetrators are to blame’ draws the reader’s attention to the opinion because it’s direct, strong and leaves no room for argument. It’s using the negative connotation of ‘perpetrators’ to relate to rape culture that is talked about within the article.
Overall, the tone of the article is critical of the opinion of Sinead O’Connor by the constant questioning of her logic.

 

The second article is written by Victoria Coren, writing about her opinions on the choice within Girl Guiding to remove the word ‘God’ from their “Promise” in replacement for ‘be true to myself and build upon my beliefs’.

The headline of the article ‘God swapped for gobbledegook’ instantly gives Coren’s point of view on the matter, which is that taking away the word God from the Promise is taking away one of the fundamental elements of Girl Guiding: a belief in God.

Coren uses an asyndetic list as well as 'tripling' to create a negative effect with the words 'lame, weak, hollow' All of these words have a negative connotation, putting emphasis on the fact that Coren disagrees with the idea. The adjective 'hollow' suggests that the new Promise has little effect or substance.

She writes 'was there no better alternative?'. Much like Bradshaw, Coren uses rhetorical questions to make the reader think about what should have been done. However, the point of a rhetorical question is that there is supposed to be no answer.

By using anaphora with 'when I was a kid' helps to reinforce that things have changed drastically over time. The use of short, simple sentences makes the writing style in this paragraph very conversational, making the reader feel closer to the writer and to the topic, perhaps as well as thinking of how things were like in their own childhood.

Finally, throughout Coren's writing, she uses humour, to both interest the audience and belittle the people that decided to change the Promise, for example when she says 'I promise that I'll chillax over a glass of 'poo, or maybe a swift half, which would be totes amazeballs' The use of slang language makes the text uncomfortable for the reader as the target audience of this article is probably not aware of what some of these words mean. By using slang she is suggesting that the new Promise means little to an older generation of parents that would like to send their children off to Brownies.

            In the final article I looked at, the topic was about the changing milestones in a women's life, and comparing what they are now to those of an older generation. It was written by Rebecca Holman for the Telegraph.

Holman uses a lot of pronouns throughout the article, such as 'we' and 'you', like Bradshaw, to include the reader. This technique makes the reader feel more connected with what is being said and makes it easier to relate to because the subject of the article is supposedly happening to everyone.

She uses adjectives like 'overwhelmingly' to describe something positive as well as using abstract nouns like 'freedom' to persuade the reader that the direct in which society is heading is a good one. It will, in Holman's eyes, lead to more freedom for women away from the expectations that are currently upon them. This is very emotive language that promotes emotional responses.

Holman uses declarative sentences such as 'I want to have children' to make sure that her opinion is clear and easy to understand. This is similar to the way Coren stated her opinions.

Running as a constant theme throughout the article is the use of facts and figures to corroborate with whatever Holman is writing, for example 'first time buyers will hit £100,000 by 2020' This makes her opinions sound more reliable because they are backed up by evidence.

Exaggeration and hyperbole are also used to make the current life of women seem harder than it is for example: 'it will be murder on my back' and 'I only ate eggs for three days'. This use of language means that the reader can easily imagine what it's like to be a female in today's society, even if it is slightly exaggerated.

 

In conclusion, persuasive language is used in a number of ways throughout a variety of texts. It is used for multiple purposes and the use of certain techniques can vary from writer to writer depending on how they'd like to reader to respond.

The Importance of Chocolate Milk

I ran out of chocolate milk. That's how it happened. If I had to pinpoint the exact moment in time that would be it. Running out of chocolate milk was the Big Bang that shaped my universe, a universe that didn't have the Sun at the centre...but a girl. A girl named Rosianna O'Connell.

I normally ask my mother to pick up two cartons of Nesquik chocolate milk on her way to work every Saturday. Two cartons mean ten litres, which is more than enough to satisfy my ravenous teenage stomach. However, my mother got called out on an emergency visit to Mr Forester's house, who is an extreme hypochondriac that seems to have a panic attack every other day. She works as a health care nurse. She gets called out to Mr Forester a lot. (I have this theory that one day no one will believe what he says is wrong with him and then the next day there will be no more Mr Forester.) The point is I couldn't ask my mother to pick up any chocolate milk.

When I went downstairs two at a time to account for my gangly legs, I was careful to skip the step fourth to the bottom that can either sound like a mouse being brutally murdered or a particularly loud fart. In the kitchen I didn't find my glass of chocolate milk waiting for me.

I checked the fridge.
I checked the cupboard.
Was I desperate enough to check the bin? No.

Taking £2.53 from my dad's wallet that he had kindly left out on the counter instead of taking it to work with him, how convenient, I opened the pumpkin-coloured door and made the small journey down to the corner shop. Teenage boys, by definition prefer to stay indoors playing video games rather than brave the cold outdoors, so this wasn't a pleasant exercise for me.

It was one-hundred-and-eighty-seven steps to the corner shop.
Within the first fifty steps you come across a vast park, with miles of luscious green fields stretching out to the horizon. It's a nice place to watch the sunset, if I'm feeling romantic, or to just think about the mundane things that float into teenage brains. I spend a lot of time thinking. I spend a lot of time counting; that's how I knew how many steps it was from my house to the corner shop. My brain works best with numbers - they're a universal language that anyone can understand.

As I walked, a strong breeze propelled me forward. I counted the number of ripples that I could see stretching across the gigantic duck pond the park is home to. The birds, only with minds for food like I had a mind only for chocolate milk, dived under the water causing little waves to form across the surface. Ripples are like actions, I thought, each one growing as another one is formed, so that it's not just a small section of water the ripples are effecting, but the whole pond.

On my 93rd step, with my head still filled with rippling water, I collided with a flowery wall. The flowery wall wasn't a flowery wall, in fact, it was a girl. Sweet mother of the world, was it a girl. I'd never seen anyone like her before.

I was staring into the turquoise eyes of Aphrodite. If I looked directly at her I'd be blinded by beauty.

"Schiesse!" she shouted in a voice so silvery it could have belonged to a fairy...though I don't think a fairy would be able to curse in a different language. "My German literature!"

"What?" I coughed as I backed away from the girl, mortified that I'd just bumped into her. Agility wasn't exactly my forte - I'm not the most athletic of people; I drink ten litres of chocolate milk.

"MY POETRY" she flapped her arms around her body, a wild look in her doe eyes.

 "You're still not making any sense" I mumbled.

 "What? You bumped into me, you idiot! I was carrying a small bunch of papers, I dropped them and-" she twisted her head side to side, scanning the pavement for the missing documents. "Shouldn't you be apologising to me now?" The girl's voice rose a few octaves with each exclamation.

 "I didn't mean to walk into you, I was distracted by the...never mind" If I started blabbering on about ripples and ducks she'd think I was mad, if she didn't already. "Please accept my sincerest apologies" I gave a little bow.

"It's funny how I don't think you mean it" she gave a soft laugh, as clear as a bell, shaking her head so soft strands of long blonde hair fell into her heart shaped face.

Was I staring at her? Maybe.

"Well?" she said, tapping her foot against the pavement. I noticed she was wearing beige pumps with hand-painted swallows flying around the side. So she was stunningly beautiful and artistic? Would it have been too forward to propose to her right then?

"Stranger boy?"

"Um...yes, stranger girl?"

"Are you going to help me find my papers or not? They're very important to me and since they're gone because of your clumsiness-"

I cut her off before she could continue to belittle me. "I'll gladly help you." Now chocolate milk was the last thing on my mind.

The girl started walking towards the hedgerow that lined the park. Like a gazelle being chased by a lion, she leaped gracefully over the hedge.
"I think I saw one go this way" She pointed towards the duck pond a few metres from where she was standing. Her floral print dress ruffled in a slight gust of wind, the pink and orange fabric waving like real flowers in the breeze.
"What are you waiting for, an invitation?"

Like a giraffe being caught by a lion I toppled over to her side of the hedge. Together we walked towards the pond where a solitary sheet of white was floating as delicate as a lily on the top of the water.

"What's your name?" I asked, trying to sound friendly and casual but scared the question sounded ominously creepy. I wasn't the most experienced when talking to girls. I think the last interaction I had with one that wasn't related to me was when Daisy Alan asked if she could borrow a pencil last year. Did that count as a conversation since I only passed her the pencil and didn't say anything?

"I shouldn't talk to strangers" she replied.

"You shouldn't ask them to recover water-damaged pieces of German literature either"

"Touche" I caught her sneaking a sidelong glance at me as I hunted for the perfect stick to act as a fishing rod.

"My name's Mark" I said, looking expectantly at her as I put the stick in the water and began to fish.

"Rosianna"

"Nice to meet you"

"I don't know about that. You knocked me over then caused me to lose precious translating material? That's not my definition of nice"

I didn't know how to reply, so changed the subject; a tactical move I'd learnt from my father whenever my mother talks of bill payments. "Why are you translating German poetry?"

"To prove that German is capable of being beautiful" Rosianna had a far off look in her eyes as she spoke. She was seeing the world differently to everyone else, in a way that nobody else could understand.

"That's deep" I smiled, wanting to make her understand that I also believed in a world that was larger than just us in one look.

"That's me"

My makeshift fishing rod caught on the paper; I reeled it in.

"I want to make a mark on the universe, Mark" Rosianna was still in her dream world. She took hold of the soaked poetry that I was holding out to her.

"Doesn't everyone?"

"Not as much as me" She sighed like the weight of the world, or at least the German language was on her shoulders. That was it. I loved her. I might have only known her name but her words were filled with so much hope and determination that I had no doubt of her capability to save the world, one poem at a time.

She wasn't just Rosianna. She was a German translator. She appreciated poetry and how anything can be beautiful. She had intelligence, artistic ability and most importantly...my heart.

If I hadn't of have run out of chocolate milk I would have never gone outside, never been distracted by the ripples and so would never had bumped into her. That's the importance of chocolate milk; without it I would never have found Rosianna.

"Here" she said, handing back the poetry. "I've got a billion more copies of this at home"

"Is this my cue to go home?" I tried my best not to look too disappointed as she started to walk away.

"No, silly we've still got twelve more sheets to find!" Rosianna started to run, laughing as the mischievous wind flew through her hair, leaving me only one option: follow her.